The Country of Smelly Cheeses, Berets, and Arrogance

Quelle belle vie! I spent my summer in a dream, living in a little city in the south of France. My days were spent reading French literature, eating lots of bread, and trying to perfect my accent so that the locals wouldn’t find out that I was actually an American. From ordering at a restaurant to inhabiting another family’s home, I constantly noticed the differences between our culture and theirs. Stereotypes were both confirmed and shattered, and living as a charlatan sometimes made me feel like a completely different person.

There’s an Italian phrase known as “dolce far niente” which literally means “sweet doing nothing”. The French engage in this as well, as one of their favorite activities is to go to a café with an “ami” or two, and sit for hours with wine and great conversation. I was stripped of my cel phone, my laptop, and my first language, then submerged into a culture that enjoys doing nothing, so it should not come as a shock that I felt a little lonely at first. French people are not always plugged into their music or in constant contact with their friends, and this was something I grew to love. I’ll be the first to admit that I usually have my cel phone attached to my hand, but the two months I spent without a connection to everyone in my phone book was refreshing.

I bet that when a naïve Frenchie comes to the U.S. and sees a Wal-Mart for the first time, they do all that they can not to faint. Everything in France is teeny-tiny. The “tasses” that one drinks coffee out of is enough for 3 small sips. The tables at cafés are the size of some bar stools. There is no super-sizing of soft drinks and don’t ask for extra ketchup if you expect not to get charged. A typical shopping trip includes cheese, a fresh baguette, some fruit, and whatever vegetables and meat will be used to prepare dinner. They don’t sell cases of 24 bottles of water or “family size” boxes of cheerios. It must have been a francophone who came up with the phrase “less is more”.

As a true lover of French, I have to say that learning their phrases was one of the best parts of being there. To any outside person, just hearing the language is romantic. But the way they express themselves is even more beautiful. The phrase to express the way that they miss someone is “tu me manques” which directly translates to “you are missed by me”. The focus of the phrase is on the person being missed. In English, our “I miss you”, is focused on the person doing the missing. I love that this slight difference is less selfish in French.

In one of my many endeavors there, I tried to get to the bottom of the arrogant stereotype that Americans believe the French are guilty for. A main topic of conversation I had with French natives, aside from my views on our Presidential election and trying to explain to them that there’s more to the U.S. than farms and New York City, was how each country perceives the other. I tried to explain as kindly as I could that Americans believe that the typical French person is overly proud. They responded with the fact that most Americans who come to France are a bit obnoxious with their little attempt to temporarily assimilate into the culture. Americans walk into restaurants loudly speaking English in their shorts and Tiva sandals, and don’t recognize the fact that this behavior is completely contradictory to the norms of France. Imagine the reverse. If there were a country that had a huge tourist population and came into our restaurants, historic monuments, and infiltrated our public transportation, while speaking their native language at a level even louder than a typical New Yorker, all year long, we might be a little bitter too.

It was a summer of learning, feeling uncomfortable speaking in a tongue very foreign to my own, and indulging in wonderful desserts and carbohydrates. The French know how to live in the present, and are extremely proud of the culture that they have established. I appreciated their routines and expressions, and feel nostalgic each time I see the picture of Eiffel Tower I took when I was almost underneath it in awe. As much as I wish I were back there some days, coming back also made me appreciate the things I love about America. Although I don’t order Ventis at Starbucks anymore, I do enjoy drinking my tall coffee in more than 3 sips.